engineered by G.O.D

countdowns

2007-12-27T01:42:00.000+09:00

5 days to 2008

10 days to Hong Kong

18 days to Mission Trip (East Timor)

****

Been more than 3 weeks since I'm back in KL. Haven't been doing much really except for relaxing at home, meeting up with some friends and just being the youngest and only daughter of the family. Of course, the latter comes with some pros and cons. Definitely love the pros....not having to cook my own meals anymore *although I think there's too many meals around the clock* , my desires are somewhat my family's command *I didn't ask for it nor did I abuse it!!! Was quite surprised to see it so obviously though...* yada yada. Maybe I've been away from living with family for too long, which caused me to forget all these little details of how great family living can be. I'm still not able to share as much as I would love to with them but I'm accepting it as part of being a conventional Chinese family. The splurge of testosterones doesn't help. *hey..no offense but not all guys make good listeners/communicators*

****

I was looking back at my very first post written 3 years ago, yesterday night. When I started this blog, it was mainly to serve as a medium of communication to my friends back in KL, to make them a part of my life as much as possible. Heh, ironically, those who commented the most turned out to be friends I made in Perth. tsk tsk...you silent readers out there should have made yourself known!!

In retrospect, I believe that the girl who sits by her laptop, religiously updating her blog every other day 3 years ago is afraid that people around her will forget her existence. In her heart, she was shouting, "Don't move on with your lives just yet. Bring me along!!! Don't leave me alone." These days, you'll have to strain real hard to hear these whimpers. It hasn't been an easy journey but I'm sure glad the worst part is over *fingers crossed*. I can't thank God enough for being by my side, carrying me through and for His relentless knocking on the walls around my heart until they shatter so that I may join Him in admiring the beauty of His garden.

This post marks the end of this blog, this chapter of my life. A new chapter is awaiting elsewhere. the address would be notified by email but if anyone else likes to join in, you should know how to contact me. =)

MooOoOOoooOooOo

2007-12-22T22:35:00.000+09:00

Happy "Dong Zhi" to whoever's celebrating it...

Family dinners and outings are rather fun at times. Definitely one of the things I'll miss when I'm down under. The thing that made the night for me though, is the sight of....guess what....

COWS

that's right...COWS...crossing the road. Who would have thought that I can still catch this sight at the heart of a developing country? Okay..I caught the sight at Sentul which is I guess kampung area? Even then, these are STRAY cows. They just look so out of place in the midst of all the steel and concrete.

On another note, I'm noticing and feeling more of the harsh contrasts between the big Southland and KL in this trip and the thing is, I can't quite decide which one I like better. Too bad I can't be greedy and have both. I love the peace and quiet and FREEDOM that I have in Aussie but I'll kinda miss some of the noise and the fun people here. Besides, I know that if I ever do decide to remain here, I'll be able to build my own independent life here.

*************************************

As the year goes through its very last days, so does my educational pursuit. Need some reflection time to bring this phase to a close. Rather sad when I make it sound that way but it's a move forward to something new and hopefully more exciting... =)

REJOICE!!!!!

2007-12-11T14:53:00.000+09:00

Bachelor of Engineering

2nd Upper

Results were out 3 days ago but due to some glitches in my average calculations, it was initially recorded as 2nd lower. Anyway, long story short, I just confirmed that I got my 2nd upper.

All glory to God for He has indeed brought about the impossible.

I can almost hear the groans around....oh puhleeeeeease.....it's you leh...you always manage somehow....

2nd upper...only a handful of people would know it's relevance to me. Even my family members don't understand why all the screaming and jumping was needed when it was confirmed. One word of congrats and that's it. Well, it took a hellish year to get it.

This year has been a grueling one...always doubting my abilities and always so frustrated for not being able to give my best. The numerous times I wanted to just dump my thesis aside and just hand in whatever's there. The number of sleepless nights and tears shed over the year.

Come to think of it, I still can't believe I managed to pull through. I made the cut for 2nd upper with just 0.1 mark above the average marks needed for it. That's how awesome my God is......

2007-12-09T00:52:00.000+09:00

Did I spend too much time in Perth? I had to adapt again back to the KL lifestyle. It feels different from all my previous trips back home. It's as though I suffered from amnesia and am now recovering from it. I definitely remember the people here but with places, there's a mixture of unfamaliarity with the famaliar. Hard to believe that I spent my first 17 years of my life here.

***

Don't know why,
Don't know when,
we drifted along the way,
no longer a proper fit
in each others' lives,
or did we ever fitted?

Where's the mindless chatter?
Where's the joy?
Where's the sharing?

Why oh why,
the awkwardness,
the loss of words,
the oh-so-serious conversations....

***

my own fashion catalogue

2007-12-06T00:45:00.000+09:00

so i was bored...and yes...REAL bored...and i happened to find this from another website. It allows you to sorta build your own catalogue using pictures taken from other fashion sites. Here it is...some things that I like...though not sure if i'll wear such things but they are still nice to look at. To me at least....

2007-12-04T23:21:00.000+09:00

Escapade...
Google search defines it as adventure: a wild and exciting undertaking or any carefree episode

To me, that word just means a place (intangible/tangible) where one can escape from reality through alcohol, drugs, movies, books, daydreams, sleep-induced-dreams..etc..etc... anything that can just make you forget about the urge to just sit in a corner and sob uncontrollably or to throw everything in sight out the window or to put ur hands over someone's mouth just to be able to stop another word from being uttered. Anything........

I just finished my 600-page escapade...in one arvo-evening. There goes my escape to someone else's problem, someone else's alcoholic and selfish mom, father who sticks around but is too busy escaping into his own world too, a grandmother is very updated on every newspaper and magazines who wouldn't stop reciting all the bad news in the world to you given the chance, heartless sisters who care nothing about you unless you support them financially just cause you won the lottery ticket, a brother who goes behind your back and have an affair with your best friend/housemate who's nearly half his age and went missing for a year and a detective who although hounds you for all the information on the investigation of the missing best friend/housemate seems to be the only one person who cares about your welfare.

okay, not a very cheery escapade but that's the only book I have at the moment. It's rather disturbing though...no matter how useless or deceitful or money-minded her family members were to her, she was still doing everything asked of her if only her money/actions can buy her a family member who would call her once in a while to check on her. Are our emotional chains to our family members that strong that you can't even leave them even if they turn out to the worlds biggest asses in the world?

Seriously, is it even possible to walk away from all the emotional baggage that comes along from family? Would it be too selfish to do so if it's just cause you can't stand drowning in that sea of disappointment anymore when you realised that once again your hopes for people to change even if a bit are crushed once again for the millionth time and you're left there broken and raw, licking your opened scars cause it'll always be your fault for even hoping, your fault for your part in pushing yourself deeper into the sea.................

mystery of holidays

2007-11-28T23:55:00.000+09:00

It's been 3 weeks since I've been liberated from the education world (or so I hope...still need my results to clarify that). I recalled how pf mentioned in one of her posts about the long to-do lists she created during her study break. I don't have an official one, but I'm sure I had an unofficial one somewhere in my head at that time. It all went *poof* the moment I walked out of my last paper. Seriously, I have no recognition of what I wanted to do then.

Aside from the first week of packing and house moving, I've been having a pretty slack life. Life has slowed down so much that if I'm free for the day, I would count all my lil acheivements. eg. handing in my graduation form to uni, getting rid of a whole load of junk books, even taking out the trash etc etc.... Before I know it, the day's gone even if I only managed to have one lil acheivement for that day itself.

Where did my hours went?

It's not as though I woke up later than usual either....okay, I had my share of 10am mornings (which is late for me..) but I tend to get up around 8-9 am these days.

*scratch head* weird..........

p.s I nearly got ran down tonight by some idiotic driver who thinks his lousy car is some high power jet of some sort which can fly over my car to be in front of me. Thank you God for keeping me alive...may you protect all the other drivers around that idiot. Amen.

great is thy faithfulness

2007-11-26T17:38:00.001+09:00

*1st edition: song was performed by Selah and NOT Don Moen

absolutely in love with this version of the song

Healer

2007-10-28T18:18:00.001+09:00

A beautiful song and prayer

2007-10-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

Been away for a while, journeying through the last block of my course, my thesis. Just finished my thesis today by the way. A lot of hiccups with Word which can be more frustrating than writing the thesis itself.

63 pages of content, none which I remembered. Seriously, when I think about thesis, it's really not what it's about that came to mind. It's more on what I've gone through in doing it. Not sure if it was just me being too exhausted from the constant lack of sleep over the past week or so or maybe I am really just that touched. I actually teared when I was writing my Acknowledgements chapter.

This whole year has only been made bearable because of these people in my life. If I were to write a proper chapter of it, there would have been a lot more names to it. Well, on the flip side, it felt as though I was writing my will except that I have no wealth to distribute.....just my overflowing appreciation and gratitude.

For the people that I've been so honoured to have the company of this year, whether it's virtual or physical, you guys hold a special place in my heart. Especially when I've closed myself out so much this year. Not that I've become a total anti-social but the whole solitude feeling just encompasses me fully. Yet, it was because of this that I was able to enjoy God's presence and understand what it means to rely on Him.

Oh by the way, He wrote my thesis for me. All the graphs and tables and stuff...it was all Him. =) You know that it can only be Him when such ideas pop up as you wake up, or shower or when you're taking a walk. Best part is, you weren't even thinking about the thesis in the first place.
How cool is that huh?

2007-10-13T02:10:00.000+08:00

I think I made a mistake in the implementation of my project. Big one?? I don't know. I still managed to get reasonable results...well...reasonable to me at least. But I can't explain it.

Sighz, why am I freaking myself out 2 weeks before the due date??

2007-10-09T10:16:00.000+08:00

iT's
oNe of thE DaYS
whERe
tImE SeemEd to sTOp
aND
tHeRe's Not a CaRE iN thE wOrlD

*ah..how I deceive myself

His wonderful grace

2007-10-07T18:36:00.000+08:00

Of all the semesters I've gone through in uni, I believe this year, this semester especially is one of the most memorable ones. This being the last year of uni studies has piled a lot of stress on my poor shoulders. Funnily enough, I'm the one holding the shovel piling it. So far, no one has told me that I have to get at least a 2nd upper or anything. My family is happy enough for me to graduate.

There's a countless number of times this year when the thought of just dropping honours and this whole degree came to my mind. Why didn't I choose science like what I always thought I'll do? Why am I stuck here doing this male-dominated degree? Why did I choose such a course that is outta-my-league to begin with?

Why??

Because God prompted me that day when I sat at the back of the lecture theatre, listening to this guy who graduated from IT engineering talk about his job in Motorola. That day, it felt as though God whispered, "My dear gal, this is the course I've chosen for you. I'll help you through it."

Did He? Yeap. Everything I've acheived in the past 3 years have been nothing short of His grace. The numerous times when I came out of the exam hall thinking that I'll barely pass, He gave me credits or distinctions instead.

So what did He do during the times when I feel so overwhelm and tensed up that I believe I can break anytime? He sent me people.

For the first half of the year, there was another high school friend around who kept me 'chilled'. God certainly has a sense of humour. I've known Marcus for 7 years but we don't really know each other well. Somehow, the friendship grew during last summer and has kept me going for 7 months. Then came 2nd half of the year...he graduated and left. Took me a while to get use to it again. I wasn't alone alone....God sent me girlfriends instead.

Just when the stress starts to peak up again in the 2nd semester, guess who God sent me? My dear sifu..it was a very timely visit, the day he appeared was the day Marcus left after his short visit for his graduation. Sifu had hinted that he'll be coming but he never said when and I always thought that it was just a small possibility.

Ever felt that hanging out with certain friends have different effects on you?
Some may take up some energy,
some you'll feel perfectly neutral
and some where you'll feel rested and re-energised.
Well, sifu falls into the last category.

One week later and I'm free from visitors. 3 more weeks to my thesis due date. I think I can finally walk this last stretch on my own cause I know my God is right beside me, holding my hand as I do this. If need be, He'll let me sit on His shoulders.

^-^

2007-09-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

I woke up 3 hours ago, intending to work on my thesis but I ended up having breakfast and blog surfing ever since. Maybe it's part of being in the 20s, I find that there are a few people out there echoing my ponders for this season of my life.

I've been brought up in an environment where whatever people do, I don't question. Whatever people wants me to do, I don't question either. That sounds pathetic but yeah, I've been leading a doll's life. I just accepted that it's the way it is and I assumed it's normal. Never thinking out of the box, never really breaking out of the life's routine, never doing much out of the ordinary. So, whether or not I like what I'm doing, I'll do it because it just feels like it seems to be the only way at the time.

Cracks started appearing on the box when I came to Perth. I hated it at first. Why must I consider so much? Can't you just tell me what to do and I do it? Why the options? I don't even know what I want to do. Spare me....please.....

But this of course, is detrimental to my faith. This year especially, I come across so many people who has different views to it, about the "right" way of doing things (kay..doesn't help that I have a subsection on ethics in one of my units), and basically just people who make comments to things that I don't quite agree with.

I know I don't agree with them but I don't know why...or how to explain it. I've just accepted it to be the right way, KNOW it to be the right way but I can't defend why it's the right way. Doesn't help that the people I've talked to can articulate their opinions so well and I'm only just starting to develop my own thoughts and views about things.

This year alone, I've found myself having some questions about life. Is this all to it? Study, work, build a family and die. Friends are a big part of my life and yet, I know that they are not gonna be around forever. Some are only there for a short season of your life and before you know it, you wonder if it's only been a blissful dream. Even if you try to engineer it so that you can be around a friend for a longer time, you know it's never gonna happen. Sure enough, memories will live on but is it enough to carry me to my deathbed?

I'm not heading in the direction of denying my faith. If I do that, then I'll be denying all the great things He has done in me for the past 22 years of my life. I believe, that this *new* development of my thoughts is another stage of growing in my faith. It's not for the sake of being able to debate with people about it but it is essential for me to know why I'm in this because I'm definitely in it for the long haul.

2007-09-01T17:58:00.000+08:00

i woke up chirpy this morning....weather was great and my cough for the past few days left me...

anywayz, long story short, i was affected by people....who were just being who they were...and the chirpiness kinda left. it's not worth it i know. it's something i can never change....i know.

the only person in this whole wide world that i can change is myself.
I KNOW!!!

but tell me...what can i do to deal with all these heartache?
...detach...
the only way i can detach is when i turn into a cold person
i can........but is that what me....a child of God should be doing??

i don't know how to deal with these...
if you have an answer...please enlighten me
cause i'm sure...there'll be many more such people appearing in my life
and some of these are people i may call ...friends...or even...family

brief update

2007-07-24T11:16:00.000+08:00

I've been bored...finally fixed the margin of the blog so that it won't look squished when I post a video.

After the past er..5 posts of songs and stuff, I'm finally writing. A brief update about what's on my mind now:

1. 4 months to the end of my uni life
2. job applications - where? what? why?
3. PR application - should I? how? onshore or offshore?
4. doing a first aid course
5. honours

Can't believe that Honours is actually the last thing on my mind at the moment. If there's a choice right now to drop the project and just get a basic degree, I'll take it immediately. After my results last sem, getting a 2nd upper is looking like climbing Mount Everest. So, I've decided, and I hope my emotions will stand by this decision...to just forget the goal...do my best...and enjoy the rest of the semester...and just let God do the rest.

Oh..and I just have to mention this...I have mondays and tuesdays off!!! Super long weekends for me....and yes...Duey..I hear your voice....the off days are for my project...I KNOW!!! It's still a nice little thing to rejoice about. =)

Britain's Got Talent - Paul Potts

2007-07-20T16:59:00.000+08:00

just for you...angel...

2007-07-18T01:03:00.001+08:00

seriously think this just screams out what you are going through....

=P

another love song

2007-07-18T00:26:00.001+08:00

=) can listen to this on and on...

love the lyrics...

2007-07-18T00:25:00.001+08:00

enjoy...

my current favourite song

2007-07-16T22:06:00.001+08:00

no idea what the song actually means....

but.... seems to reflect how i feel

latest addiction

2007-06-07T11:56:00.001+08:00

hehe...heard one of nikki flores' song in my friend's blog and i got hooked.

i'm gonna be one of those people who has music in her blog now....=P

5 months later

2007-06-05T14:50:00.000+08:00

and so....it's been 5 months....

anyone still checking this??

not sure if this is a start to start blogging again. can't bring myself to close down the entire blog since it was afterall my memories of the past few years...though, I don't think I'll ever read them again....some things are better forgotten.

I just need an outlet for some things in my mind. A diary??? but i love the graphics stuff one can do with websites......though.....i haven't been playing around with it....

point of this post?? none..........

my favourite ad

2006-11-10T23:33:00.000+08:00

Just found this......I always loved the song.....but this is the ad that made me love it.
Note that this has nothing to do with the product whatsoever....I just love the whole effect of it.

Sigh...the sound effect in the movies were way nicer but I guess this will do for now.

ringtones = music???

2006-09-24T20:47:00.000+08:00

Just came across this article about how someone's going to try making music out of different ringtones in a concert. And this is not planned at all, they are going to ask the audience to participate and turn their phones off and on randomly. I wonder what the end result would be...hmmm

Hehe, for once ringing cell phones are welcomed in a concert. =)

Let Them Hear

2006-09-14T16:36:00.000+08:00

I have no words to offer
They simply get in the way
When I try to explain You
There's nothing sacred left to say-
You are who you are
And You always will be
So here is my prayer-

Let them hear You through me
Let Your words be mine
Let them see that Your love
Is the reason I'm inspired
And when given the choice
May they recognize Your voice
Let them hear You through me
O Lord

I don't have all the answers
All I know is what You've shown
And I'm longing for those moments
When You'll make your mysteries known
Till then, I will be
Who You've called me to be,
So again, hear my prayer-

Let them hear You through me
Let Your words be mine
Let them see that Your love
Is the reason I'm inspired
And when given the choice
May they recognize Your voice
Let them hear You through me
O Lord

~Ginny Owens~

one night in monash 3/20

2006-09-05T18:14:00.000+08:00

funny stuff

2006-08-30T11:47:00.000+08:00

Item 1:
Received a letter from a certain blur queen in Singapore. This was written at the back of the envelope....

***************************

If delivered, pls return to:

*her add*
***************************

Item 2:
Was in the last stages of cooking up a dish when something smells funny. Turns out that it came from the sauce. I used packet sauce since I was lazy...something I found in the pantry anyway. Checked the expiry date and saw this....

5 Feb 2005

Argh...disgusting I know. Wasted my time chopping all the stuff for it.

Item 3:
I was on my way out for my 1pm class until Stace called out, "Are you going out already?" I said, "Yeah, going for my class." She replied, "Isn't your class at 1pm??" I checked my watch and it tells me that it's 20 mins to 12noon.

Thank God for ppl who knows my timetable better than I do.

unease......

2006-08-23T18:05:00.000+08:00

Not sure if it's the book I'm reading. Don't know when it became so. Don't know why either. Somehow, I forgot how to be still. Can't remember how to rest except through sleep. It seems as though I need to keep myself doing something just to remind myself that I'm really living. I even forgot how to enjoy a book.

What happened???? Where's the gal who can stay in bed the whole day, forgetting her meals even, just so that she can finish reading her book?

*perplexed*
God, help me find peace once again. Let me not be sucked into the whole rat race.

On a lighter note, I met a stranger today on my way to school. My walk to uni was interrupted by this person who asked me if I knew the way to UWA. Oh wellz, so I had unexpected company who walked to uni with me. Turns out that he's a first year Engineering student (coincidence??? hmmm...) living in St. Georges College and somehow he managed to get lost after visiting his bro in Nedlands. Poor guy was trying to look for the clock tower but couldn't find it. And...he missed his maths test that morning too.

That's all for the adventure of de day......

I have been tagged!

2006-08-22T16:11:00.000+08:00

hmm...have been tagged ages ago...just doing it now. hehe..see the extent i go to just to avoid studying for my signals test tmr???

FAVOURITES:
color: apple green i guess...and pastel colours in general
food: not too sweet, or salty stuff...i dunno...it's good enuff that i'm eating
song: all for love from Hillsongs, more than fine and gone by switchfoot...
movie: save the last dance....i'm sure there's more..but i can't remember
sport: netball though i haven't played for ages
day of the week: tuesday...cause it's my free day
season: autumn
ice-cream: erm...i'm off ice cream for a while after my failed attempt to finish a tub...but i guess green tea ice cream???

CURRENT:
mood: contented
taste: aftertaste of nasi lemak i guess
clothes: red sweater with brown pants and fleece on my legs
desktop: hehe...er...a anime background of a girl with a rifle and my icons all arranged in a heart shape
toe nail color: original colour??? whatever that is
time: 4.18pm
surroundings: at my desk which is next to my shelf and in front of my bed....
annoyance: still alright
thoughts: i shld get back to studying hehehehehhe....

FIRSTS:
best friend: Trudy...primary school buddy
crush: a senior from pri school
movie: not too sure...i have jurassic park in my mind..but don't think it's the first one
lie: how does one keep track???
music: er...probably those kiddy songs in kindergarten??

LASTS:
cigarette: hate smoking
drink: plain water
ride: from city beach back home
crush: for me to know..and not for u to find out
movie: miami vice....the only movie that has caused me motion sickness so far...
phone call: Stacey..my housemate
CD: United We Stand - United Live

HAVE YOU EVER:
dated one of your best friends: no
broken the law: speeding i guess.....
been arrested: no
skinny-dipped: no
been on tv: no
kissed someone you don't know: no

THINGS:
4 things you did today: burned my breakfast, went to work, went to uni, bought lunch, and study...haha..5 things..in case any of those doesn't count
3 things you can hear right now: humming of my laptop, the loo flushing, the wind
5 people to do this: nah..shall end this misery....

touching sounds....

2006-08-19T14:03:00.000+08:00

Ever heard live music?? Not a whole band. Just someone playing a simple instrument and singing to it. And it's the only thing you hear at the moment. It really touches something deep inside. Haha...the next part probably sounds silly but it's true. Tears flow when I heard that.

thanks for singing the song for me....it was more than just fulfilling a promise.

girl privileges

2006-08-15T00:42:00.000+08:00

Today felt as though I was back in high school again. Angel and I was enduring our very last safety lecture today and somehow we were like on the topic of guys. While I was half paying attention to the lecture, we were also half studying the guys around us. Guess that's the one good thing about being a girl in the engineering course. There's lots of guys.

Important note: we are definitely not going guy crazy.

Hmm, guess it feels kinda good, knowing that I can still go back to some high school nonsense with someone now. Being a grown up can be tiring at times......

Oh, then I had the 6.30pm lab at TAFE today too. Was there to build a casing for my project. Basically it's just measuring stuff on a piece of metal, drilling holes and bending them into shape. Which of all the steps that needed to be done, I only did the measuring and a small part of the bending portion.

There's only 2 gals out of the 10 people there. And the lab helpers were like, "Girls, come let me do it for you."

Good and bad I guess. I wanted to try drilling holes. On the flip side, it's the first time in my life that I really felt that I was treated like a girl even if the helpers were just thinking from the view that they don't want us gals to spoil their equipment.

cheering Sunday

2006-08-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

Just thought I update you guys about how my Sunday went. Considering there were some people who were concerned about my Saturday. Oh...by the way, Hanh, the picture is for you. I never got to let you see how I look like wearing a skirt did I? So, I thought I dress up a bit today. Heels are SO SO SO PAINFUL!!!!!!

=)
I was out of this outfit 5 mins after returning home. Put on a t-shirt and shorts and attempted JOGGING!!!!!

Went with Xing Zhi and Jean. Think we'll be trying to keep fit together. No points for guessing who's the one with the lowest stamina. I couldn't force myself anyway, black spots appearing in my vision. Bad bad sign.

Let's see how long our erm...keeping fit team will last. We still need to come up with a name for this keep fit program. Suggestions anyone???

saturdays.....

2006-08-12T12:45:00.000+08:00

There's only 52 Saturdays in a year...if I'm not wrong. 32 has passed including today. 20 more to go.

It's 12.46pm and I haven't seen anyone the whole day. Neither have I spoken a word to anyone yet. How did I manage to get pass the previous 1072 Saturdays in my life?

I honestly can't remember. All I know now, is that I have no idea how to go through my future Saturdays......

Erm...if this post is ringing a warning bell to you guys, sorry....I'm alright. I'm just in a whimsical mood. Besides, I was wondering as well, who bothers to read this blog anyway?

doggie!!!

2006-08-07T08:55:00.000+08:00

okay..this may not be very clear since i took it with my phone's camera but can you see the doggie sticking its head out of the car?? sights like this never fails to amuse me......

hmm...wanted to blog about other stuff actually but don't really have the time to. oh well..this pic shall be good enuff for now...=)

my desires vs Your desires

2006-07-29T09:47:00.000+08:00

Just when the thought of giving up, this popped on my screen....

“ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ”
- Philippians 3:14

Sigh, I shall submit to Your will for me. I don't request for an easier task.
I only request for the wisdom and strength in all areas of my life to tackle this task and most importantly, for You to be along my side....

gloomy start to a new semester

2006-07-24T21:35:00.000+08:00

Yeap....as the title says.....it's a gloomy start to the 2nd semester. A whole week of bad weather!!! It's bad enough to force myself to school after a long holiday...now I have to battle the urge of just snuggling in my warm and comfy bed when it's just the perfect weather to be doing so....

Oh wellz....as bad as the weather may be, I kinda have some new resolution. I bet everyone will go, "Everyone makes this resolution at the beginning of a new semester. They never see it through though." Well, you've guessed it, I'm gonna be more productive this semester. I'll TRY to be anyway.

Well, notice that I'm not specifying erm, studying harder or be more disciplined in quiet time and all those stuff. I know it's quite pointless to do so. I won't follow them anyway. But one thing I've realised during the holidays, I can live my days with the whole day filled of doing productive things and it feels great. Hopefully this can last throughout the whole semester.

Hmm, recent news......I've officially moved out of my previous room into the room that was across mine. It's a bigger room. But, currently it's filled with a lot of mess. I have to reorganise everything and decide how I wanna put my stuff. Makes me feel very disorientated though. New room, waking up to a new environment. But...i shall change that pretty quickly. Shall be spending tonight clearing up mess. hehe....i shall be productive starting from now...=)

family church camp!!!!

2006-07-20T00:58:00.000+08:00

once again...God's amazing

2006-07-11T09:53:00.000+08:00

He saw me through my exams again....
2 D
2 C

safe parking

2006-07-07T10:36:00.000+08:00

for laughs

2006-07-01T17:39:00.000+08:00

It all took place in a bookstore with a friend. There I was, browsing the cooking section of the shop. A few mins of browsing later, I was enticed by a very very very cool sushi book. Why cool? Just cause it comprises from the culture, to the method to the many different recipes inside.

Still totally engrossed by the book, I grabbed it, walked over to my friend with my head down. I said this when I was next to her, "I really want to buy this book."

A few moments passed and I did not receive a single response. My gaze, which was originally on the floor slowly made its way up. Up...and up...and up it went. Until I saw the face.......and realized that I was staring at a complete stranger that was so shocked that she couldn't utter a word.

My friend??? Well...she was oblivious to all that was happening since she was at the other end of the store. teehee.....

my cookie jar

2006-06-20T13:27:00.000+08:00

i LOVE my cookie jar
isn't it prettyy....???
and it's FULL too!!!!

btw

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOON!!!!!

what do i say??

2006-06-20T11:09:00.000+08:00

Had a lousy maths paper yesterday. For the very first time in my uni course, I'm finding out what do I do in the event of a fail. But....as Shirley says, I shall not doubt Him. Besides, no one believes me when I say I do badly anymore. Everyone just goes, "Aiya, you always say that, then you end up being fine."

So, I shall not tell anyone about it anymore. Making me sound like a liar. bleh....

The most amazing thing though, from the whole experience is that realization that my joy really does come from Him and Him alone. For the past few months, I've been on my emotionally high period and I'm just exhilarated about everything. Seriously.....Stace's my witness. hehe.

Well, it came to times when I do wonder, I mean...I know that it's from God. But I can't just help but wonder, what happens if my circumstances are not that great? When is this ending? When will I feel as though I'm in the dumps again?

Back to yesterday, I had the exact same experience of the time when I took my first year Maths paper. That year I walked out of the hall crying. I went home crying. I was up all night crying. I questioned myself yesterday...will I cry??

The answer? ------> I don't know
The outcome? ------> I didn't

It's not that I didn't feel sad. I did....for the first hour after the paper. But there was still the sense of peace in me. And considering the fact that I can still have fun just being with Stace (my housemate...she's like my 24-7 playmate at the moment since we are home all the time for the exams.....btw...if you are reading this...i love you lots)

There, my conclusion to my questions for the past few months. Indeed, it is His joy in my heart and no matter what the circumstances, the joy remains.

"Whatever my lot,

thou hast taught me to say,

'It is well, it is well, with my soul!' "

On another note, I've just finished reading My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult.

Hence, the usual moment of stillness I feel everytime I finish a book. Ironically, though I didn't cry over my paper, I did tear over this book.

The thing about reading....it's not that I'm being a geek though some of you might have just thought that I am one anyway. Reading...is just an amazing experience. Especially books like these or biographies. It's an open gateway to someone else's life, someone else's thoughts and feelings. I only lead my on life in this world and time is limiting me to the number of things I can do in my whole life. But reading......enables me to experience so much more.

See what I mean about me being all still and emotional after finish reading a book???

a reminder

2006-06-09T20:40:00.001+08:00

I am ALWAYS
loved & accepted
by GOD
no matter What I experience
or Who may reject
ME

Romans 8:35

I am FEARFULLY
&
WONDERFULLY
made;

Psalms 139:14

soon-to-be common phrase in my household

2006-06-05T20:53:00.000+08:00

a.k.a prezz on!!

must say it while shaking ur fist...
(got this from a drama...see..who says tv doesn't teach u good stuff too???)

Happy 21st Birthday Chooi Wan!!!!!!

2006-06-03T20:04:00.000+08:00

Still love you no matter how much you tease me......

new things we learn everyday.....

2006-06-02T22:07:00.000+08:00

I just realised that my laptop has the start menu button. I've been looking high and low for it and i couldn't find it. It's usually in the lower left hand part of the keyboard right? Next to the spacebar or something. Well...I kinda gave up on it after a few months. Then....I found that it's at the upper right hand corner of the keyboard. Gosh...talk about being unique.....by going against the norm and causing me all the trouble. HMMPH!!!

On a lighter note.....BORDERS in the city!!!!! They just opened it!!! It's so nice!!! There's a Gl or ia Je ans in there and the stuff in the Gl or ia Je ans in that particular one is actually nice. (there are some drinks that doesn't taste as nice in certain outlets) Oh...all the books...and there's even a lower basement. How cool!!! Reminds me of Singapore and Malaysia. Hehe...and now..I have 3 more books to read. Don't worry..I didn't buy them, they are all Hanh's, just that I'm reading them first.....hehee....thank you Hanh........

feeling nostalgic

2006-05-31T23:46:00.001+08:00

Ever tried being alone in the room or just driving around by yourself, listening to some music and you just suddenly feel so alone....so detached from the world and that you just wanna stay in that position forever??
~Memories start flooding back. Past conversations and scenes play around in your mind and you find yourself wishing to be back in the past.....

Ever tried going grocery shopping alone?
~You just miss the person who set up the whole silly routine of having to go systematically around every aisle. Though you did not need anything from those aisles, you went around anyway. Just to keep the tradition. Again.....you keep hearing conversations from the past. You look at stuff that you'll never even bother looking at before just cause a friend always does that. In the end, there's a few more odd looking items in the cart....and the bills just went a lil' bit higher than usual.

**someone....come back!!!!!**

feeling nostalgic

2006-05-31T23:46:00.000+08:00

recent contribution to the nature

2006-05-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

giving the mozzies a very very very HUGE dinner!!!!!

the answer....

2006-05-23T16:30:00.000+08:00

SHAN

'day'-mare

2006-05-18T19:22:00.000+08:00

just got my haircut today.....one scary thought came when i saw the end product.......

i look like my mom

sigh

Same feet....

2006-05-16T20:12:00.000+08:00

Guess who's feet is this.....

2006-05-16T20:11:00.000+08:00

This is not my feet!!!!

Take a guess at who it belongs to...definitely not me. =)
And definitely someone in Perth. Post your answers in the comments section. I shall see who the winner is. I shall disclose the answer in the next few posts. Stay tune....

some future plans i've 'made'

2006-05-11T00:03:00.000+08:00

Been hearing quite a bit about Europe lately. Makes me want to go too but I've figured that there's only a year and a half more to my course. I probably won't be able to go for any holidays until I graduate. Just because I have to finish my professional practicum which takes 12 weeks and there goes my holiday at the end of this year.

It's been so long since I have a real holiday to somewhere foreign to me. Not that I'm saying that trips to Singapore are not nice. But I'm not really a tourist there anymore.

And recently, got to know this friend...Hanh, who's been telling me a lot about companies and job applications and stuff. Just brings me to reality about all these process I have to go through just to get a job. *Hanh...you are adding to my stress!!! How come you are passing on your stresspot to me????*

Anyway, I sort of decided to save up for a big trip to Europe when I graduate. Well..try to save up anyway, considering the workload I have in uni and all. And before I leave for the trip, I'll learn as much as I can about photography. Chances are, that I probably forget lots of those experiences (my memory is really bad about these things) and the only remnants of the trip are photos. So, I better make sure I can get good ones. So, if anyone's free around after april 2008 and is willing to pay for your own trip, come join me!!!

Oh..another new venture of mine.....I'm learning about share markets just out of curiosity and also....out of the influence of (none other than) Hanh....

a funny start of the day

2006-05-04T20:52:00.000+08:00

^_^
woke up
went to the bathroom
started brushing my teeth
.
.
.
.
.
then only do i realise
.
.
i didn't use the toothpaste
^_^'''

something special

2006-04-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

A dinner with spectacular view and people

declaring my number 1 enemy

2006-03-23T20:40:00.000+08:00

The magpie.....Identify this fella here. He attacks your eyes. STAY AWAY when you spot him!!!

the end of my 'furniture-banging' days!!!

2006-03-17T12:22:00.000+08:00

No idea why I was doing this in the middle of the night but I did. Packed my stuff in my room. Move things around a bit and VOILA!!!

I have more ROOM in my room..........

Finally got rid of my bedside table which was in the middle of everything in my room. Don't have to bang it anymore....or sweep my lamp off the table when i'm turning around the room...

wishes...shall remain.......wishes.....

2006-03-01T14:23:00.000+08:00

i wish....
i can change how things go
i wish....
time can be turned backwards
i wish....
life can be different
i wish....
for once, wishes do come true

pardon me,
i'm too strung up.......
too tensed........
need a step back......

adapting once again...

2006-02-21T16:46:00.000+08:00

I'm currently back in Perth, though the idea still needs some time to sink in. Somehow it took me longer to adapt to this place again. for example, the water here tastes differently. Usually it takes me about a day or two to get used to the taste. But now, even when it's my fourth day here, I still have the weird taste in my mouth from the water.

Oh....and I've been getting super forgetful lately. I can't remember where I put my stuff. Not that organized a person. Quite funny and frustrating actually. When I put my cards or whatever in a particular place, I usually think that it's like the most obvious place I'll put in. And I'll definitely be able to find it later. BUT, when I need to find it later on, I never seem to know where that 'obvious' place is. So, if anyone has any great ideas about how I should keep my things organized...please please please buzz me.

irritating song.......stuck........argh.......

2006-02-09T08:22:00.000+08:00

One of the cons of listening to the radio = The last song that's playing gets stuck in your head

Let me share my misery.........

Come-on-come-on-come-on
come on Cameliaaaaaaaa
you come and go
you come and goooooooooooooo

Love-would-be-easy-if-its
color like my dream
red gold and green
red gold and greeennnnnnnnnn

Headache.........

2006-01-25T15:15:00.000+08:00

Reason's for a headache :-

When you sleep at 1am and somehow wake up around 6 something.
When you do the above and turn all you want on the bed but somehow cannot get back to sleep.
And then you have to wake up at 7.10am.
When all the above was done and you face the computer the whole day at work.
When all you do at work is thinking of how to redesign the company's website.
When you want to do a proper redesigning but somehow you are learning all the html, php, javascript and css from scratch.

latest updates

2006-01-23T08:53:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog this a week ago but have been putting it off to catch up with my resting/playing time. =)

Went to Melaka for a weekend a week ago with Ming Foong and Teresa. Met up with Phingo and Cheah there. It may sound pathetic but it's my very first road trip in Malaysia with friends and it was great. Better than great. Now I really do believe that to make a trip fun, the place takes about 30%, friends 50% and your emotions 20%.

Anyway, believe it or not, I went all the way to Melaka to dye my hair. Not on purpose mind you. But a certain someone was complaining about the hot sun, and too much walking. So, a group trip to the saloon where 4 out of 5 of us did something to our hairs. Well, nothing too drastic with my hair. It's brownish now....

Oh...and after the visit to the 'Beauty Museum' in Melaka. I just can't express how grateful I am being born in this family in this city during this century. The definition of beauty in the olden days/villages are so obscure. Flat heads (they put burden on the heads to make it flat since young), small waist (erm....super small one...looked as though a it can fit a ring), small feet (the shoes looked like baby shoes), carvings on the body (imagine your skin....embossed with patterns), long necks (apparently the ladies wear rings to lengthen their neck to avoid tiger attack and it became a fashion statement) and piercings (don't imagine ears......imagine the whole body full with it).

Okay, enough time pilfering from my workplace. Back to work.....Feb 10 = last day at work....i'm starting my countdown.

daily dose of books

2006-01-13T08:55:00.000+08:00

I have found my daily dose of storybooks!!!!!!!!!!! Best thing yet, it's free. Now I don't have to empty my pockets just to fulfill my desires.

It's all thanks to Guan who's forever working up until 7pm when I only work until 5.30pm. (He would have worked longer if I didn't set a time limit) So....having to hitch a ride from him, I basically roam around KLCC during the time gap. Good thing there's Kinokuniya in KLCC. I would have died either from boredom or tiredness during those time. Now......I don't even wanna leave early (only part of me...the other part still hungers for my comfy bed).

I'm making good progress too. Been reading 'Fatal Tide' by Iris Johansen. Ended in pg 55 on day one, and pg 152 on day two. There's 320 pages. Hopefully no one removes the book before I get to finish it.

Can't wait to 5.30pm today.......it marks the beginning of the weekend....as well as time for my dose AND I'm leaving for Melaka tomorrow morning!!!

unseeming treasure

2006-01-08T00:36:00.000+08:00

It has always seems natural to me that I know what I looked like as a baby. Well, I still can't recognise myself properly when I was a month or so old but at least I know what I looked like before.

Then this thought struck me yesterday night :
I only have pics because I have loving parents who could afford a camera and bothered to use it. There may be millions of people out there who doesn't know what they look like as a kid just because of poverty.

Wouldn't it be sad not to know what you once looked like? To visualize the baby-you crawling around or making funny poses or even that embarassing pic of the baby-you naked??

welcome 2006

2006-01-01T01:18:00.000+08:00

1st Jan 2006

I think I had one of the best new year celebrations so far. It wasn't a long one, nor was it a big one. It was just a simple meet up with 3 gals; Dian, Popo and Phingo. (friends from sec school) We played cards, talked, and shared quite a bit. Everything said tonight, shall remain amongst the 4 of us only. Then we moved on to this 'special spot' Dian claims to be hers to watch the fireworks. Turns out that other people knows about this spot too. But it was still a good view of the city. We watched firework displays from 3 different areas without having to endure all the big crowds and major traffic jams.

whoops...so sorry for the cutoff. I forgot I zoomed.

hehe, finally a proper pic of the 4 of us at the 'special spot'

8-*-*-8

ReFlectIons

I'm glad to say that, there's nothing in the past year that I would like to change about. It has been a great year and I owe it all to God. So many things has changed. I have changed. 2005, the year I got my first car, the year I got to drive in KL alone though it's still scary for me.

And there was THE GREAT MOVE from Boon's place to Stace's place. It's only a street away but it is significant. Marks the beginning of my independent life in a girl's place. As expected, I'm kinda influenced to be more lady-like. Can't believe my end of the year shopping spree consists of 2 very very very girly skirts, blouses, dresses, and a ladylike jacket. oh oh...I still managed to get myself a pair of jeans on the last day of 2005. Hehe, I never realise this but I've been steadily buying myself a pair of jeans every year since I was 17. So I have 4 pairs now. =)

On a more solemn note, this year also marks the end of the academic years of Sharon, Ben, Josh, Kathy, Fred and Stan. ( I can't recall all..sorry if you are left out) I'm finally starting to understand what Simon says when he described how he always have to see people come and go. It's so sad. And I'm feeling it now. To just think that these people are moving on towards another phase of their lives and not gonna be in Perth anymore. I do feel the urge to pull you guys back and pray for time to stay where it is cause there's so much comfort in your presense in my life. Then again, I do know that God has something greater in store for all of us and I have to learn to let go. My only prayer is that our paths will cross again some day and we'll be able to continue our walk with God together wherever we are.

final note : i'm happy with my new jeans......just have to say it...i'm so contented *-.-*

sleepiness.........

2005-12-19T11:35:00.000+08:00

Work is no fun........Especially when lots of people are on leave...........And the only person in the house who's supposed to be enjoying school holidays *me*..is working while the other working people in the house are having off days.

hmm..how did my mom phrase it?? Black Monday.....which is very true. It is indeed a very very black monday for me. I'm counting hours to lunch......and to finish work.....and at the same time counting days till weekend and the end of my internship. That's precisely how bored I am. grrRRrr

Everyone else in the office are looking forward to clearing leaves.........while........me..........the most unimportant person in the company.......does not have any off days at all. Hmm.....technically...my very last day of internship is 27th Jan 2006. Since I don't have any M'sian calendars with me, I can't count how many public holidays I have. Hehehe...I shall go check now. 50 mins to lunch........yippie!!!

Results are out!!!

2005-12-12T13:26:00.000+08:00

Yeap......the time of the year where I stress about my results again. But........I didn't stress much this time. Got someone else to check it for me. And......before I go any further.....just wanna proclaim that God is wonderful!!!!!!! I've received soo much more than I deserve.....and expected. (I sorta expected a fail or some near passes)

Best of all......the highest mark I received?
Is the worst unit......the one that i hated and dreaded the most the whole semester. The one where I failed both tests.

Here it is.......the results that sent me off to 3rd year......1 credit......3 distinctions.

I have no idea how He managed to use what I had to receive those results. Sometimes I feel that it's a good thing we don't receive our papers back. Then it's as though I can't see God's magic in it. Not that He did any magic. But it's still a wonder........

So.......is He great or just very extremely great???

3rd day at work....

2005-12-07T08:47:00.000+08:00

2nd day went by with a breeze. I got to know more colleagues but still not all. I guess being in this industry, thought engineers are supposed to be working in teams and all....my office has lots of people who just keep to themselves and do their work. Of course...some of them do talk but it's mostly computer talk.

At the moment, I'm in the office...still not much to do yet. First half an hour of the day. Oh...I finally found out which department I'm in.....Customer Service Department. Currently, I'm sorta helping out the help support person. Doing all the nitty gritty stuff. So....at least there's one person who'll talk to me. =)

Hopefully today I can have lunch with my colleagues. Haven't quite had the chance yet. What am I to do?? It's mostly guy engineers here. Some people are on leave and some are on site.

Sigh...only third day. 37 more to go. I shall persevere................

first day at work

2005-12-05T20:34:00.000+08:00

There's only one word to describe it :

BORING!!!!!!

But I guess I can't ask for much can I? At least I didn't fall asleep in the middle of the day. Especially when I didn't sleep too well the night before. Half the people in the office were away. Half of the other half didn't bother trying to know me. Amongst the rest, I only talked to my supervisor the most.

What did I do the whole day?

Sit in front of a SPARC Workstation, (those similar to the ones in Uni lab) with a thick fundamental study guide on how Solaris works in front of me, reading and at the same time experimenting it with the computer.

Yeap...8 hours at work...spent 1 hour waiting for my supervisor to come in and the rest....reading that study guide and 'play'-ing with the com. No instant messaging...no internet. Apparently those people in charge of administration are away. So no one is there to help me set up my email or IP address.

My feet is suffering from the moment from the amount of walking in a not-so-comfy pair of shoes the whole day. How am to go through 8 weeks of these???

kl holidays saga continues

2005-12-03T23:37:00.000+08:00

AHHHHHHhh !!!!!!

I'm gonna start my very first job the day after tomorrow!

Sigh...one week of supposedly relaxation is not sufficient. I didn't even get to relax! Went around all the shopping centres looking for working shirts, pants, and shoes. So far, I only managed to get some pants. AND, I most probably will have to walk around in heels for a while. That's not the worse part I suppose. I wake up every morning to someone who never stops reminding me that I got fatter and that I need to diet. Tell me about breaking your spirit man....

Other than my very very sad shopping spree and weight problem.......I've attended my very first cell meeting in KL!!! So, my prayers are half answered. Thank you Hwee Yen!!!

I nearly didn't make it for cell. But I guess God wanted me there cause He make ways for me to be there. First off, I didn't have any problems getting permission from my mom at all. I just told her, I'm gonna attend cell tonight. And she said yes. Of course, I gave her all the details about time, how I'm getting there and back, and the address and contact numbers of everyone who's invovled. (Cell was half an hour's drive from my place...without any traffic)

Why did I nearly not make it?? The story goes like this...
I was supposed to meet Hwee Yen at some train station. There I was an hour before our meeting time, at another train station, trying to get train tickets. It just so happens that there's a PC fair going on, plus the very first day of sales and not to forget Batik Week going on somewhere around that particular train station. To cut the whole story short, the train station was flooded with people and the machines weren't working properly. I lined up at 3 different queues in a period of 45 mins. Yup, it was pretty late already. At that time I was thinking that at the rate I'm going, I'll definitely not make it for cell. All this while, I was corresponding with Hwee Yen, and then, she suddenly called me to tell me that one of her cell members are in my area and she can bring me to cell. Can't imagine how glad I am to get away from that human flood and finally make my way to cell.

Thank you God...for providence.

So, cell's great. Now problem is.....I don't know which church to go to. My mom doesn't seem to agree about me driving to church. I used to walk to this church somewhere near my house but I have always wanted to go elsewhere. Now that I do have the ability to drive around, I really really really hope that I can finally go church hopping and settle in a home church in KL too.

Tomorrow's Sunday...I shall update on where I ended up in. My bed? The church outside my house? or elsewhere??

until then............

my earring productions

2005-11-29T21:37:00.000+08:00

The product of my lesson with Val

My very first creation

a better-than-expected flight

2005-11-28T10:33:00.000+08:00

Phew.......the moment has arrived....I'm in KL...

Some of you might know how I'm dreading this trip and flying alone...yada yada.. But it turns out that the flight was good and it has nothing to do with the pilot. I happened to sit beside two girls from curtin and we chatted away the moment we were onboard. What a nice blessing....=) It's my first trip where I was able to make friends and what's more...we are gonna keep in contact.

That aside, I'm gonna be having my interview for my job in a while. It's only my second day back in KL. Such a rush. Spent a good 15 mins deciding what to wear. Not because of the interview but because of the weather. I came out of the airport last night drench in sweat. It's been such a loooooong time since I smelt sweat. sigh....

I miss my room...my car...my freedom!!!!!

Most of all, I miss Perth

The last week there was great. Thanks guys..for making it so fun. =) Went to the beach two days in a row. Went swimming with Alison two days in a row. (I will always remember the first time...but let's make it our secret kay? shhhhh)

Oh oh...and I learnt how to make earrings!!! Thank you Val!!! Shall post my first production later. Or....you can choose to look at the product that's with Alison at the moment.

Hmm..what else....the day trip to Swan Valley was good. I felt like a tourist. Hehe. AND... I drove there. Not that it's very far. But at least it feels like I'm going somewhere far in Perth.

Okay..that's all the update. I still haven't decide on a phone number yet. Thinking of whether I should just use my mom's number or get a new one.

noise pollution drives people crazy

2005-11-16T10:46:00.000+08:00

I once watched this on a chinese serial. Someone went crazy...filled with furstration....cause he was living somewhere that's near a construction site. The noise literally drove him crazy. Then, he committed a crime because of his unstable mental state.

okay...that's quite an extreme example...but i'm nearing that state at the moment.

BEWARE!!!!

The construction right opposite my room is too much!!! And of all times to start, they start during my exam weeks. There's sure to be some banging by 8am.

Give me back my sleeping time!!! And study time too...............

*breathe in....breathe out...
*last paper tmr...i will be fine...

something sweet...

2005-11-02T19:58:00.000+08:00

someone wrote this in my card...

" May this year be sweeter than the last

but

not as sweet as the next... "

this day of the year again

2005-10-31T16:18:00.000+08:00

How does one usually feel on such a day?

Lots of people told me that it is a special day. Is it really? Minus the messages I receive and well wishers, I guess it's pretty much the same as any other day. Or maybe I'm just used to the fact that it has never quite been a celebration day for me since a very long time ago.

Long gone were the days where I waited upon this day in anticipation. I think the last time was probably when I was in primary school?

=)

The magic of this day has quite disappeared for me. Maybe I'll find it again some time later in my life....Well, pardon me if I didn't return the well wishes with a very enthusiastic response. Truly, I am contented with the nice weather God gave me today, and the people who are around me; my family and friends who loves me and of course my 'extended family' in Christ as well.

Oh, sorry guys, Fred spoilt the surprise. He was too lazy to find an excuse to get me to his place for the surprise. So, he just told me that there was a surprise and that I should appear at 7.30pm. I can choose either to be surprised or just let you know that I know. Thanks for the effort anyway....

And for those in M'sia who are curious about my relationship status. Nope....I'm not in any relationship with the opposite gender. Ask me again this day next year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

editted at 10.20pm

presenting....my pressies from my cellies...

blur? lost?

2005-10-25T23:42:00.000+08:00

I set my alarm to 8.50am, thinking that my lecture starts at 10am. So, yeap, I woke up to the alarm but then the inevitable happened; I went back to sleep. Next time I opened my eyes, it was 9.30am already. Then, it was still alright cause since class is at 10, I can still make it with maybe 5 or 10 mins late.

There I was, walking slowly to school. Passed a group of my coursemates (they are the ones in my first lesson who always answers the questions by the lecturers) on the way. Was thinking to myself why aren't they in class. Then I came up with the answer, maybe they were too smart to bother with the last lecture since it's only a discussion.

Finally reached my lecture room. Opened the door. Whammm!!

You guessed it...it was empty! Called my friend just to find out that the lesson was at 9am meaning that it's already over. At that time it was 10.15am which was time for my 2nd lecture. But unfortunately there's no back door to that lecture room and I don't wanna disturb the class.

Sigh, I only have 3 lectures for the day and I did plan to go for all 3 since it's the last week of uni. Somehow, only ended up going for 1.

*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*

On a more serious note, finals are in 2 weeks and I haven't started studying. I just can't find the motivation to study. Issit the exam bug? I have no idea. But the thing is, I know I should study but I have no idea where to start from, which one to study first.

OKay, I'm not exactly the kind to have a study plan. I choose it according to my stress level. Which one's causing more stress, I'll study that first. At the moment, I guess all of them are giving me the same stress level. And maybe I just don't have the desire to study it.

ARgh, I can't wait for the semester to end. Then again, I won't really get to enjoy the holz this time round. Have to go back to KL (that's 27th Nov) and work. Part of course requirement. 8 weeks devoted to work. I don't even have any work clothes. Only have a week to get them before I start work.

Just did my laundry and I realised that my sleeping clothes are twice the height of clothes I wear to go out. How pathetic......

the moment has passed

2005-10-13T21:08:00.000+08:00

All miseries have left me. Thank God....

I realised I dislike being angry at someone, even though I have every right to be. Though, forgiving is quite hard. I wonder how God has the grace to forgive all of us. It was only easier to me cause the apology was sincere. But we didn't really apologise to God when He decided to forgive us...did we?

miserable

2005-10-13T10:51:00.000+08:00

i woke up to a bad day today.....bad news actually...the deliverer of the news? my mom... sigh...i'm supposed to feel angry but then i'm feeling more misery from not knowing how to vent my anger properly...on the person who caused it. ok..not my mom in this case..don't misunderstand....shall pray that the day gets better...

how's others' life like??

2005-10-06T21:48:00.000+08:00

Just got back from the Spring Feast in uni. FYI, it's a pasar malam sort of thing that they have once every year. This year was much better than the last one. Lots of stalls and people and entertainment.

Well, I was just waiting for my bubble tea (over here not much teh tarik, so bubble tea is what they usually mean when we wanna go yam cha...pathetic..but still nice) and I looked around me. There's so many people. Some standing, looking around like me. Some amongst a group of friends, who seem to be having a lot of fun.

Then I just start to wonder, "What kind of lives do these people have? What have they been through? How did they know all those friends? Why is it that some are having fun while others are just enduring? What can I learn from them? "

Well, obviously I didn't get any of my answers. But I've always wondered all these things when I see the people around me. If only I can know their life story......I guess, I do realise my life is quite straightforward.....but I want to experience lots of stuff which I obviously can't cause there's only so many stuff a person can do at a time. If I can sort of share other people's experiences, it'll be great. If only......

my com crash!!!!

2005-09-09T15:27:00.000+08:00

SOB SOB!!!!!!

last night
the com light was still blinking. shut down. then i slept.

this morning
wanted to look at my tutorials online.
press the on button.
the screen lit up.

....loading windows xp.....

*tut*

black screen

it didn't even survive to the user login screen.

a ride down memory lane

2005-09-02T18:49:00.000+08:00

Well, my tests and assignments are piling up and I'm literally going mad!!! Imagine having to study for tests and dealing with different assignments in between breaks. Since the weekend is here, I've decided to give my brain a good rest today.

Something reminded me of friendster today. It's been ages since I log on to friendster. Once I entered it, and I'm hooked. Well, not hooked on adding friends or testimonials....but hooked on browsing through all my friends' pictures.

Amazing how much you can learn from pictures. Places that they've been to. Their relationship status. How they've been....yada yada....One thing about pictures, they nearly always capture happy moments. Fills my heart with a warm, fuzzy feeling just looking at how happy they were.

Makes me wonder, what would my life be like if I never came to Perth? Will I be very close to my classmates in the local college? Will we have trips to some outskirts in Malaysia? Will there be a group of us who'll enter uni together?

Okay, I admit. I'm greedy. I want the best of everything in this world. I want to be able to enjoy and experience the fun stuff that all youngsters do. I don't want to be stuck here studying in uni and just end up getting a piece of paper.

i want my childhood....again....

2005-08-22T01:17:00.000+08:00

Oh....I better blog this before I forget it a second time. I remembered one of the stuff that I wanted to blog about. Not that it's very interesting. Just a thought.

It occurred to me when I was ice skating. I've ice skated 4 times now and still not very good at it. There I was trying to steady myself when all the kids around me are having so much fun.

I reckon that we should all send our kids to learn how to rollerblade/ice skate when they are still kids. At least they won't learn the word fear at such a young age. All I could think of when I'm skating was how badly I fell on my first try and how scary it is when I speed up.

Sigh......childhood....come back!!!!!

mad week

2005-08-21T23:12:00.000+08:00

It feels like a mad week, rushing through everything. There were one quiz, one test, preparing for worship leading and a report. Don't think I even have time to stone properly.

oh before i forget,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SUVIYA!!!!

AND A BELATED BIRTHDAY WISH TO SUET KWAN TOO!!!!

...HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY SHIRLEY...

Uhuh...two birthday celebrations yesterday. Ice skating with Suviya and UWA-ians. And then to Shirley's house.

hmm....I know I thought of something interesting to blog about several times yesterday and today. But then all my inspirations flew away after I came home. Anyway, it's my first night not having to worry about anything I have to do or get done by the next morning. Feels weird, not rushing through stuff after 6 days of doing so. My brain is not even working right when I'm not busy. Seriously, all the rush and busy-ness can get addictive. Now I understand why people feel so awkward when they have time in their hands.

in need of air....

2005-08-16T17:42:00.000+08:00

i'm reaching my breaking point.........

very very very very soon.......

just this far away from it
| |

an interesting test....

2005-08-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

You are nurturing, kind, and lucky.
Like mother nature, you want to help everyone.
You are good at keeping secrets and tend to be secretive.

A seeker of harmony, you are a natural peacemaker.
You are good natured and people enjoy your company.
You put people at ease and make them feel at home with you.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Cirque du Soleil

2005-08-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

I finally watched a circus!!!!! A REAL LIVE CIRCUS!!! Not one of those on tv.......

Cirque du Soleil is just amazing. For those who doesn't know, it's not an animal show! They are all human acrobats. Made me realise how flexible one's body can be though I knew it all along. It's just so different watching it happen in front of you. It makes me wonder how it's like being part of such a team.

The whole team is made out of people from different countries ; China, Russia, Ukraine, Canada, etc. What language do they converse with each other? How does it feel like being a family with people from different cultures? To be travelling together, and trusting each other. And boy do they need a lot of trust...to be thrown in the air, do your stunts, keep in a perfect form and fall without even bracing yourself for the fall.....at the back of your mind, knowing that your teammates will catch you. Oh, and imagine the training they must have had before getting to this stage. Repeating each step millions of times, picking myself up each time I fall and try again. Plus.....working with each other just to get the timing precise.

I wish this night will be forever etched in my memory. But the human mind is not perfect. At least I know I'll remember the sensation of just being impressed with so many things. How I'm back to being a kid, trying to see everything and being scared to blink my eye just so that I won't miss anything important. How lovely to be a kid once again........even if it's only for 2 hours.

hmm...

2005-08-09T00:19:00.000+08:00

I've heard/read this somewhere;

In life, you gain some and you lose some.

These days, I've changed that phrase to ;

In life, you lose some TO gain some......

venturing into work life

2005-08-02T12:00:00.000+08:00

I now realise how hard it is to look for a job. It's so scary!!!! And I'm just looking for 12 weeks of vacation job. Sigh, might not be back in KL for long, if I'm ever going back at all.

Working on my resume at the moment. Feels so weird, trying to hard sell yourself and you have to make yourself sound useful even when you don't have much knowledge or skills. Hehe...and at the same time...not bluff too much.

Oh well, there's lots of stuff to worry later....meeting strangers for example. ARgh....scary...

restless

2005-07-25T00:12:00.000+08:00

It's only been a week since uni started but I haven't quite caught up with the whole idea of semester starting already.

Why?

Hmm..maybe cause I was sick and have already skipped 2 lectures.
Or maybe I have too much in my mind.

I have this anxious feeling inside me that I can't get rid. I know God was telling me NOT to be anxious. He's saying "Be still" even right now.

I analyse my life too much now. Shouldn't dig into it too much. Life should just remain mysterious, until God chooses to reveal stuff to me. I miss being a living being. And I do mean LIVING!!! Shall stop rationalizing and justifying everything for a while. My mind's gonna crack anytime soon. Not good for a sick patient. not good at all.......

Crap.....don't even understand what I just wrote.

ah well....time to sleep then.....

a reminder

2005-07-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

a timely reminder
from a dear friend
that struck my heart

all that i've achieved
all that i am proud of
all my life

it is not I
but HE
who deserves the credit

though i knew of it
all along
but pride has its ways
of creeping in
and corrupting the mind

may this reminder
not be temporal
but be deeply rooted
into my heart
that i'll not fall
into such a deadly trap

something from gilmore

2005-07-14T11:56:00.000+08:00

I think I got this from Season 1 of gilmore girls. Spoken by Rory just before she broke up with Dean. Don't remember the exact words though ;

"This moment is perfect. Everything in my life is just going on so perfectly that it almost feels sad cause you know nothing in this world can be better than this."

results are out!!!!!

2005-07-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

Yeap, the most exciting time during the semester has arrived. Anyway, I was half asleep when I was told my results. ( Simon checked it for me ) Uhuh....didn't really feel the excitement.

My results?

2 D's, 2 Credits

Definitely more than what I deserve.
Thanks to God's grace......

2005-07-06T10:17:00.000+08:00

my wallpaper at the moment....have a peaceful sense to it -the lone fisherman during sunset

i've moved

2005-07-06T09:59:00.000+08:00

I am no longer the resident of 2D Kanimbla Road. Sigh....sounds a bit depressing. It's been a nice and comfy HOME for the past 2.5 years. Now I feel as though I've just arrived in Perth. It even smells like it....

Anyway, I'm settled in already. My room is done. Only have the kitchen stuff left to do. =)

awesome God

2005-06-29T14:04:00.000+08:00

Camp was just over yesterday. We left believing that exciting things are going to happen in the future. We'll see miracles and indeed, I just received a miracle this morning.

So I was feeling a bit disorganised after the camp. Was going through my mails and I come across this mail from my lecturer.

The subject: Preliminary Exam Results for ES220.
Thoughts that were going through my mind: Gosh, camp is just over and I have to face the harsh reality already?? Should I face it?

Before I move on, just a bit of a background why this is a miracle. I took this unit without knowing anyone there. Usually I have friends doing the same unit. For this, I went through it alone though I managed to know 2 others later on. I had nightmare labs for this unit. Half the time I have no idea what I was doing. At the end of it, I found out that my lab marks were the 3rd lowest in the class. It didn't help that I was late for this exam. It was an open book exam but I found it superbly hard. I left one question blank. There were 6 questions. Conclusion? I thought I was failed it.

Guess what was my raw marks?

69

Isn't God just awesome?

I think He is more than awesome.......

special date

2005-06-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

20th June.......

not just a date.....

it's THE day when God introduced the world to my brother

THE day when I was fated to have a brother

okay...i'll cut the crap (pls excuse my exam madness)

Happy Birthday Boon!!!

wet

2005-06-11T12:39:00.000+08:00

You know the rain is targetting you when:

1. It starts raining heavily just as you are about to step out of the shade........

2. It stops the moment you step into the house......

random something

2005-05-29T18:30:00.000+08:00

"To listen totally means that one takes another's whole life into one's being and cares for it."

~Abraham Schmitt~